


Snowball Effect

by MinerL2020



Series: SquarePants and Friendship [7]
Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Crossover, Funny, Snow Day, Snowball Fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27889144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinerL2020/pseuds/MinerL2020
Summary: After an iceberg drifts into Bikini Atoll, the residents of the Bikini Bottom-Ponyville area get a snow day. Spongebob, Pinkie, and the rest of the gang decide to have a snowball fight. They try to get Squidward to join, but he initially resists. However, Squidward finds himself amused by their antics. Will Squidward stay inside for the snow day, or will he have fun thanks to the snowball effect?
Series: SquarePants and Friendship [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2029624





	Snowball Effect

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing.

We see live action footage of icebergs.

‘Ah,’ the French narrator said. ‘Observe the majesty of the mighty iceberg. This frozen giant, normally found floating in polar regions,’ we cut to Bikini Atoll, ‘can sometimes stray into warmer waters,’ an iceberg floated into view, ‘causing dramatic changes in climate for our friends in the Bikini Bottom-Ponyville area.’ The scene changed to show the bi-town of Bikini Bottom and Ponyville, and snow started falling. It fell harder.

The next day, Realistic Fish Head came on the news, wearing a snow hat.

“Yes, it seems Old Man Winter paid us a visit last night, and he brought with him not a pillow, or a sheet, but a _blanket…_ a _blanket_ of snow!” We cut to Main Street in Ponyville. “Yes, schools have been closed for today, and from Jellyfish fields,” at the entrance of the fields, a Jellyfish with snow on it swam by, “to residential abodes,” Rarity’s boutique was covered in snow, “to bustling downtown,” at Downtown Bikini Bottom, a stoplight changed from ‘stop’, to ‘go’, “it’s nothing but the white stuff.” At Spongebob’s pineapple, the sponge opened his door, as he and Gary walked out.

 _“Whoopee!”_ he cheered.

“And local residents are taking notice!”

Spongebob put on his Santa hat, while Gary ducked into his shell, and came out wearing a hat on each eye.

At the Castle of Friendship, Twilight and Spike walked out wearing scarves.

“Nothing like a fresh coating of snow to clear your mind, huh Spike?” Twilight asked.

“Yup!” Spike said.

The scene changed to show the Cutie Mark Crusaders making snow sculptures, and Mr. Krabs building a snow dollar. Meanwhile, Mrs. Puff walked up to her boat, saw it was covered in snow, before she puffed up and blew it off. She got in, and drove past the snow that had piled. Lucky popped out of the pile, and shook his hoof. _“Hey!”_ he shouted.

At the Chum Bucket, Plankton walked outside, and saw the snow.

“What’s this?” he asked. “Drops of rain frozen into ice crystals? I shall harness their energy and rule the world!” He laughed evilly, but snow started to bury him. “Oh, stop! I wish to rule you!” he managed to say, before he was covered in snow.

* * *

At Conch Street, the gang had all gathered, and were doing various things in the snow. Pinkie and Patrick were talking, when Pinkie got hit with a snowball. “Huh?” she asked, before turning, and seeing Spongebob with his back turned, casually whistling. “Hey!”

“Thanks a lot, Spongebob!” Patrick said. “While you were standing there whistling, someone threw a snowball at Pinkie!”

“Oh really, Patrick?” Spongebob asked, before giggling. “Did the snowball look like this?” He threw another one that hit Pinkie.

“Oh, so that’s how you wanna play it, huh?” Pinkie asked.

Patrick grabbed Pinkie. “This is serious, Pink! Someone’s after you! You have to leave town!”

Pinkie giggled. “Of course I don’t, silly! Spongebob threw it. He wants to have a snowball fight.”

“Snowball fight?” Patrick asked. “I want to play! I want to play!”

“In fact,” Spongebob said, “why don’t we gather everyone together?”

A few minutes later, everyone stood before Spongebob and Pinkie, who were acting as team captains.

Spongebob grinned, and gestured to Pinkie. “Ladies first!” he said.

“Then go on ahead,” Pinkie said.

“Ooh!” Everyone else said.

“Okay, fine!” Spongebob said, offended. “Rainbow, you play to win, so let’s win.”

“You said it!” Rainbow Dash said, flying over to Spongebob.

“Applejack,” Pinkie said. “I could use a good kicker. Besides, it wouldn’t be the same without you and Dashie competing.”

“Starlight,” Spongebob said.

“Twilight,” Pinkie said.

“Rarity.”

“Patrick.”

“Fluttershy-” then Spongebob noticed Fluttershy wasn’t there. “Hey, where is Fluttershy?”

“Don’t take it personally, Darling,” Rarity said. “This isn’t really Fluttershy’s ‘thing’.”

“Spike, you’re over here!” Pinkie called.

“Wait a minute,” Twilight said. “This is unbalanced! Spongebob’s team needs one more!”

“I know who!” Spongebob said.

Inside Squidward’s house, the octopus was relaxing by the fire.

“Ah, yes,” he said. “Warm fire, cozy slippers, and a piping hot cup of tea with a lemon wedge.” He picked up the lemon.

 _“Squidward!”_ Spongebob shouted, causing Squidward to accidentally squirt lemon juice into his eye.

“Why do I even bother?” Squidward muttered, before getting up, and going to the window.

When Squidward opened the window and looked out, he saw the snowball fight teams putting the finishing touches on their forts. “Would you please keep it down?” he asked.

“Squidward!” Spongebob called. “You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join us, and together we’ll defeat the Pink Menace, and all who dare follow her!”

“That’s us!” Pinkie said cheerfully, before giving a squeaky smile.

“I can start you out as a buck private, but with hard work, perhaps you can rise through the ranks and become a regular private!”

Squidward responded, “Thanks, but no thanks, Major Stupidity. You and General Nonsense over there will have to fight without me.” He snickered. “Got ‘em both.” Then a snowball flew at him. He ducked, and it put out his fireplace. He growled, before closing his window.

A couple minutes later, and several snowballs later, the soft projectiles were littering the area, but neither side was gaining ground.

“Pinkie, you fool!” Spongebob said. “This was over before it started! I will now consider your unconditional surren-” he was cut off by a snowball to the face from Patrick. “-der.”

Pinkie and her team laughed hysterically.

“So that’s how she wants it to go down,” Spongebob muttered, glaring at the other side. Pulling off his santa hat, he revealed a funnel, which he used to scoop up some snow, and placed the funnel into his head. He jumped on top of the fort, took a deep breath, and started firing snowballs from his pores. The other team looked up, just in time to get hit with an avalanche of snowballs.

“Spongebob’s giving us cover fire!” Starlight said. She and Rarity quickly picked up snowballs with their magic, and started firing snowballs at the other team. Spike tried to breathe fire to stop the onslaught, but got a snowball in his mouth, putting out the flames.

“Nothing personal, Spikey!” Rarity called.

Rainbow gathered a pile of snow, and quickly flew over, dive bombing Applejack, burying the farmer.

When the onslaught finally died down, most of Pinkie’s team lay on the ground groaning. Except for Patrick. He stood up to reveal that the snowballs that came his way had landed in a stack on his forehead.

“Ha! You missed me!” Then Spongebob started firing again, and the snowballs landed in Patrick’s mouth. When the shooting stopped, Patrick fell on his back, swallowed the snowballs, and let out a breath of cold air.

Pinkie turned and opened her mouth, but that was a mistake, because the snowballs started landing in _her_ mouth. Instead of her swallowing them, they got stuck. When the snowballs stopped, she closed her mouth, cheeks bulging, and ran off.

“Score one for the folks back home!” Rainbow Dash cheered.

Pinkie went up to Squidward’s house and knocked on the door.

Squidward opened the door. “Yes? Oh, Pinkie.” Pinkie was standing on her hind legs, and waving her hooves around, trying to speak through the snowballs. “What an unpleasant surprise,” the grouchy octopus muttered. Pinkie intently gestured to her throat. “Oh boy, nothing like a game of charades.”

Pinkie then swallowed, clearing her mouth, and set on all four hooves. “I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow, but the snow melted and turned into water, and I drank all the water, now I’m better,” she said, all in one breath.

“Fascinating,” Squidward deadpanned.

“Now I gotta pee,” Pinkie said.

Squidward sighed. “Okay, make it quick.”

Pinkie quickly ran inside. A few moments later, a toilet flushed, and Pinke ran back out the door. “Thanks, Squiddy!” Pinkie said.

Then Spongebob noticed them. _“Aha!_ Aiding the enemy!”

“We’ve caught you red handed, Squidward!” Rainbow declared.

“Look, I was just-” Squidward began, before Spongebob threw a snowball at him. He ducked, and the snowball put out his fireplace. “Spongebob!” He angrily picked up a snowball, and pulled back his arm to throw. Spongebob shrieked.

“Yes!” Spike cheered. “Squidward’s on our side!”

“I most certainly am _not!”_ Squidward said.

“That means he’s on our side!” Rainbow said.

“No, Rainbow, I’m not on your side either. I’m on nobody’s side. Snowball fights are for immature children, and I will not stoop to your level.” Squidward promptly dropped the snowball. “If you want to knock each other’s brains out with snowballs, kindly leave me out of it.” He went back inside, and slammed the door.

“Come on, guys!” Squidward heard Patrick say. “Let’s go knock each other’s brains out!”

“Okay!” Starlight said.

“Hmm…” Squidward said. He imagined Spongebob getting hit with a snowball, and his brain falling out of the back of his head.

“Okay, guys, it’s out!” imaginary Spongebob called.

Squidward snickered. “Now there’s something I’d actually like to see!” He brought a chair to one of his windows. “Nothing wrong with a front row seat, I suppose.” He snickered again. “Aah.” Then he noticed something. “What’s this?” Outside, Spongebob and Pinkie were shaking hands and hoofs. Squidward placed his face against the window. “What- I- No!” He went back outside. “What are you doing? You’re supposed to be knocking each other’s brains out!” He punched the side of his head for emphasis.

“We signed a peace treaty, Squidward,” Spongebob said. Spike showed the treaty.

“You were right,” Twilight said. “Snowball fights are for children.”

“No, no, no, I misled you, it’s for adults too! Give me that peace treaty!” He took the paper from Spike, and ripped it into pieces. “There! Let the war continue!”

“Uh, Squidward, that wasn’t the peace treaty,” Applejack said. “That was a _copy_ of the peace treaty.”

“Look, you all are giving up too easily. Now, Pinkie, pretend I’m Spongebob.”

“And who am I?” Pinkie asked.

“You’re Pinkie”

“Can I be Mr. Krabs?” Spongebob asked.

“No! Wait, why?”

“Because he’s a good leader,” Spongebob responded.

“Will you butt out?!” Squidward asked, annoyed.

“Hey, you can’t talk to Mr. Krabs like that, Squidward!” Patrick said.

“Enough!” Squidward said. He pointed at Pinkie. “You’re Pinkie! I’m Spongebob!” He threw a snowball into Pinkie’s face. “Now, what are you going to do?”

Pinkie wiped the snowball off, and threw it back into Squidward’s face.

“Pinkie, why didn’t you hit Spongebob?” he demanded.

“Squidward, you said you were Spongebob,” Rarity pointed out.

“Argh!” Spongebob said, imitating Mr. Krabs. “It’s true, Mr. Squidward! Now get back to work!” Everyone besides Squidward burst out laughing.

“Oh boy,” Squidward muttered. “All right, I can see where this is going. Let’s just say for all intents and purposes that I, Squidward, am now part in this war.”

“Then you’re on our side!” Spongebob said.

“No! I am not on either of your sides. I’m my own team. Now-”

“If you’re in this war, then where’s your fort?” Spike asked.

“I don’t have one, okay? Now-”

“You have to have a fort, Squidward,” Patrick said.

“Forts win wars, dude,” Rainbow Dash said.

Squidward growled. “Okay, fine! You want a fort?” He reached down, and made a small pile of snow. “There! There’s your fort! Now-”

“Yer fort’s too small, Squidward,” Applejack pointed out.

“It’s okay, Applejack. It’s just a demonstration. Now-”

“She’s right, Squidward,” Starlight said. “That thing would never protect you. It’s downright puny.”

“Trust me, it’s fine,” Squidward said, before Patrick hit him with a snowball. He wiped the snow off his face, stretching it out, before it snapped back to normal.

“See, it is too small,” Twilight said.

“Not if I crouch down. I mean, you didn’t even give me a chance to crouch down.” He got on his knees. “See? Down here, I am perfectly-” Patrick hit Squidward with a snowball again.

“Exposed,” Rarity said.

“Would you please-” Patrick hit Squidward with another snowball. “-Stop throwing-” Patrick hit him again. “Snowballs?” Patrick paused, and hit him once more. Squidward growled, before making a snowball, and throwing it back, but the others ducked, and he put out his fireplace _again._

Spongebob gasped. “Squidward returned fire!”

“Then it’s war!” Pinkie declared.

“No-no, no, wait, wait, wait!” Squidward said frantically, before crouching behind his fort. “I was just giving a demonstration!”

The others ignored him, and, back behind a fort, they began pelting Squidward with snowballs. They threw so many snowballs, that Squidward ended up inside a snowman. To top it off, a hat fell onto his head. He growled, and broke out of the snowman, shouting, _“All right, **that’s it!** You guys asked for it!”_ He picked up a snowball, and threw it, hitting Spongebob squarely on the face. “I got him! Ha! I got him!” Squidward couldn’t help but laugh. “In your face, Spongebob!” He laughed again. “That was actually kind of… exciting! Why, I’ve never felt so alive!”

Pinkie laughed. “He got ya good, Spongebob!” Then Squidward hit her in the face with a snowball. Then Squidward started throwing snowballs at an extremely fast rate.

Rainbow panicked. _“Take cover!”_ she shouted, and they ducked behind the fort.

Squidward just kept throwing snowballs. He paused for a moment to say, “Oh yeah,” before he ramped up the pace. The group was getting pelted by an endless barrage of snowballs.

“Hey guys?” Patrick asked the group.

“Yes, Patrick?” Spike asked.

“I think Squidward’s taking this really seriously.” The group looked up, and saw a familiar instrument in Patrick’s forehead. “That last one had his clarinet in it!”

“Hmm,” Twilight said. “Looks like it’s time for snow day plan B. Everyone rendezvous at Spongebob’s pineapple.” The group tiptoed away.

Squidward just kept throwing snowballs, until he ran out of air, and stopped, panting. “What’s going on? The snowballs have stopped falling. I better take advantage of this momentary cease-fire.” He looked at his fort, and gasped. “What? My left flank is exposed? That bloated starfish is gonna run right through me!” He grabbed some snow, and patted it into a wall. “I’ll just fix that right now.” He laughed. “Wait, that makes my north wall a weak spot! One blast from those purple twins is all it would take!” He grabbed some more snow, and added it to the wall. “Here we go! Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Oh, oh, oh! But if that pink migraine attacks me from the rear, I’m a goner!” He added more snow to the fort, making it look like a hollow cylinder. “There, Ha-Ha!” He gasped. “But what if that technicolor maned stuntmare performs an aerial assault?” He started digging inside his fort.

* * *

Some time later, Squidward had made his fort gigantic. He poked his head over the top.

“I guess that ought to do it!” He laughed wildly. “Fort Squidward is now all but impenetrable! Now where are those fools?” Snow hit him on the head. “Ha! The first shot has been fired!” He threw a snowball. More snow fell on his head. “Take this Patrick!” He threw another snowball while snow fell on his head again. “Taste my frozen fury!” He threw two more snowballs. But unfortunately for him, he was oblivious to the fact that the falling snow was really from a tree. “Victory is mine! Whee! Ha-ha! Well I got you now!”

Meanwhile, inside Spongebob’s pineapple, the gang was watching TV while drinking hot coco.

“Did you guys hear something?” Spongebob asked.

“Nope,” Pinkie said. The others affirmed this.

“Get out the snow shoes and the shovels,” a man on TV said.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I bet a lot of pegasi were ticked off by the sudden change in weather patterns when Bikini Bottom first appeared.


End file.
